Paw little thing

Lost dogs are quite hard to find. Of course, it's difficult to work out if they wanted to get lost in the first place; if they needed some time and space to think, or whether they just wanted to go and play with a stick in the park for a while.

But we reckon that Reggie the lost dog wanted to be found. After telling you about his disappearance in last week's news, we are glad to say that Reggie was spotted in a garden near the police station, captured and returned to his owners. Now safely back at home, Reggie is working on the screenplay of his ordeal, provisionally entitled "From Chelsea to Hammersmith and back again - one dog's journey."

Bust a move

Sometimes you just feel like dancing. Just like the man that we're about to tell you about. The Dancing Man (TDM) called us a little while ago and said he'd like to come into Fruit Towers and do some dancing for us. We love dancing, so we asked TDM to come in and do his stuff. Before clicking here to see what happened, make sure that you are fully prepared for the images that you are about to witness.

Read and learn

Newspapers and magazines are very useful. Not only do they tell you what's going on in the world, they also occasionally give away free gifts such as glittery make-up bags (Marie Claire) and model aeroplanes (Model Aeroplane Monthly). We have been lucky enough to have been featured in some newspapers and magazines recently - click here to read some of the articles.

Flowers of the week

This week's flowers of the week are brought to you in conjunction with Brett's old chair. Brett has been sitting in the same old battered chair for years, and refuses to get a new one. But we managed to prise him out of it for a minute so we could take a photo.

The funny thing is that that these pictures encapsulate some very strong feelings. The juxtaposition of work-weary swivel chair with a flowering plant symbolises the struggle between the new and the established. It demonstrates modern civilization's desire for form over nature. But ultimately it shows that Brett should stop eating the foam stuffing and maybe try snacking on unsalted nuts instead. Click here to see it all.

Bombay Dreams

Fruit Towers is a bit quiet this week, partly due to the fact that Dan and Mark have gone to India. The two of them swear that their trip is a quest to find the perfect chutney; ideally, they'd also like to return with fully enlightened souls, but they do stress that it's mainly about the chutney. You see, Dan harbours a dream that one day we could start making quality chutney to go alongside our nice drinks, and has arranged visits to chutney factories and everything. What's more, the gods are smiling upon the boys - their trip started off on an auspicious note when they spotted the talismanic figure of Jeremy Beadle boarding their flight. We wish them luck, and have promised them a large gift if they bring home a photo of their new friend Mr Beadle sampling some really hot chutney, maybe whilst riding an elephant near the Taj Mahal in a sari.

Almost there

We are itching to tell you about some nice new drinks. But we can't do it right now as they are still being tweaked into shape. We promise we'll give you all of the information as soon as we're allowed.

Fame Academy

Not content with the above Beadle news, we have another load of top celebrity action to tell you all about. For one thing, we had a stand at the Outdoor Adventure Show at the weekend, and were visited by Jon Tickle (the clever one off of Big Brother) and Gos (his friend off of Big Brother). We have also had reports that Fern (Britton) and Philip (Schofield) are partial to the odd innocent drink, and are proud to exhibit a lovely photo that they sent us. Admittedly, nothing has ever topped the time that we saw Tom Selleck walking down Old Bond Street, but such moments may only come along once in your lifetime.

Drum solo

In part 1 of an occasional series, we bring you "Pictures of innocent people before they worked in the exciting world of fruit drinks". Our first unwilling participant is Richard "Sticks" Reed, photographed sitting at his drum kit with a few other young men, collectively known as The Cheesy Lighthouts. Click here to witness rock'n'roll history and some excellent 80s teen posing.

The new two

We love it when new people start working at Fruit Towers. It gives us a chance to sit around and appear knowledgeable about days of yore, like old sailors in a smoky quayside pub. Today we have two new additions to the team. One of these people is Travis, a young Australian chap with a big smile and a dodgy haircut. And the other person is Emilia, who is half French and half English. Her hair is just fine.

Here are some facts about them:

Travis:

• He once met Anna Kournikova after watching her train in Sydney and "refused" a date with her
• Travis required micro surgery after cutting his finger on a can of baked beans
• His first word was "go" after his mum said "ready, set"...

Emilia:

• She is the only Frenchwoman in history to like Marmite more than snails
• Emilia is currently looking for a nice man
• And she's been looking for some ear muffs to keep her ears warm but can't find any

A lengthy discussion on the problems of the Indian caste system

Many of you were very interested in the news that Dan and Mark have gone to India to investigate chutney. Well, we have received our first update from them, and have picked out the highlights for your delectation:

"6am the next morning we set off on a four hour taxi ride to find the Malabar Coast Products Co. chutney factory. When we arrived we had to negotiate our way past an insane guard...eventually we got into the office of the owner and his daughter in law. They definitely thought we were mad but they were very nice and we had some good chutney chats as well as a lengthy discussion on the problems of the Indian caste system. Anyway we came back with lots of nice chutney samples for you all."

"Next was a 20 hour train trip. This was certainly an experience and we got to meet many interesting locals who enjoyed our card games (although Dan's "Erotic Scenes from Greek Pottery" cards did draw a few dodgy looks). Also the fat bloke opposite couldn't stop snoring and kept us awake all night."

"Before we go and have a beer and watch the sun set, there is one last bit of advice that we would like to pass on; a very cool hippy with tarot cards told Dan to 'beware of material things'. Deep man."

PS if any publishers are reading, you could do worse than speak to these two about their plans for "Mark and Dan's Chutney Odyssey", a cracking Christmas present for all the family, maybe.

Amazing Daisy and her new shops

Some marvellous new places have started stocking innocent drinks this month. This is mainly owing to the fact that our Daisy works very hard to get new and interesting places stocking our drinks every 24/7, 365 days a year, 100 years a century.

First up is Do Yourself a Favour, a brand new wedding shop in Beaconsfield, which will be opening next week after Lorraine Kelly has cut the ceremonial ribbon. Then there's the Yorkshire Sculpture Park in West Bretton (near Wakefield), which looks like a pretty amazing place. Finally, there's the Dancing Goat in Framlingham (Suffolk). Great name.

What a tweet

Last week's pictures of Richard's teen rock drummer days were very well received by innocent news readers. So this week we thought we'd bring you some more "Pictures of innocent people before they worked in the exciting world of fruit drinks". This week's special person is Nina, dressed as a blackbird doing some tap-dancing or ballet or something when she was about eight. Click here for more.

Fern and Phil

Eve S won the signed photo of Fern Britton and Philip Schofield that featured in last week's news. Well done Eve.

Je voudrais une pomme

Bonjour. This week we are going to France to make friends with everyone there. It's the start of a small plan, the main thrust of which is to sell some drinks in Paris - a fairly tough assignment, seeing as how French people are very clued up about food and drink. But we reckon that our pure and natural stuff will appeal to them, and we have already found out that the French for 'innocent smoothie' is 'le smoothie innocent', so please don't accuse us of being under-prepared or anything.

If you're in Paris this week, it would be nice if you came to say hello/bonjour/je t'aime to us at the European Sandwich Show on Wednesday and Thursday 25-26 February at the Palais Des Congres de Paris. We'll be on stand G.01 with our phrase books.

Chutney queens and thieving scenes

Story number two this week concerns the continuing adventures of Dan and Mark, fearless travellers in search of the perfect chutney. They are now back at Fruit Towers and they smell a bit of chutney, but this is only to be expected after what they've been through. Highlights from their second week in chutney heaven include the following:

"We found a spice plantation a few hours away and drooled with excitement as we bought the necessary spices for our chutneys. On the way we asked the taxi driver to stop at a good chutney restaurant. While the chutneys were quite tasty the restaurant was a bit dirty and the only décor were the ‘No Spitting’ signs. Nice."

"Now we're in Anjuna, historically the rave and hippy heartland of Goa. We stayed in a beautiful place where we tasted goldfish stuffed with coriander, mint and lime chutney. Yum. We also chatted to a chutney queen - the Chief of the Asian office of Der Spiegel (big German newspaper) - who told us about the history of chutney as well as giving us numerous recipes to take home."

"We ended up going to a rave on the beach. This was totally amazing and we danced until 9am the next day. While we were watching the sunrise on the beach a little Indian kid managed to sneakily steal Dan’s wallet. He removed all the money and put the wallet back in Dan's pocket."

Nice sneakers

"Pictures of innocent people before they worked in the exciting world of fruit drinks" seems to be working very nicely. The idea is that we get some embarrassing pictures of innocent people from when they were a bit younger and stick them up on the site. After Richard's rock drumming and Nina's blackbird/tutu thing, we are proud to bring you some crazy dancin', courtesy of Rowena. Trying to describe the picture is proving difficult, so you'd best just click here to have a look at it.

Also, click here if you want see a picture of Geoff with the flowers of the week. We had a specific request to use Geoff as this week's model from a female admirer, and we were more than happy to oblige.

Job's a good 'un

There are still quite a lot of jobs up for grabs at Fruit Towers. So if you fancy coming to work with us, please click here and have a read.