This week’s news contains only one story about a smoothie. The rest of the stuff we made up on the bus to work.

Berry forgetful

Back in December, we told you we were retiring our blackberries and blueberries recipe and replacing it with an even better berry recipe. Initially, there were tears, stomping feet and a small child campaigning in a chicken suit. But then we sort of forgot to tell you about the new recipe. So better late than never, here’s blackberries, raspberries and boysenberries to soothe your furrowed brow. You can get this excellent recipe in our little bottles and big cartons from all good supermarkets and nice shops across the land. And it’s worth knowing that the man who invented the boysenberry was called Rudy Boysen who, when not breeding berries, liked to work as park warden in LA (man). Whaddaguy.

One small step

If you don’t ask, you don’t get. But if you ask, ask and ask again, you might find someone who will help you out. Thankfully, our paper suppliers and the Forestry Stewardship Council didn’t mind us nagging at them for a bit, and as a result we’ve been able to produce an excellent new type of paper to use to make our labels. As of 1st January 2008, all our labels are now 75% FSC sourced and 25% recycled content. This material never existed before, but because we nagged a fair bit, it now does. Of course, our labels are only a tiny drop in the vast paper production ocean but it’s good news and proof that, yes kids, pestering does pay.

The Faroe Islands – a primer

Officially independent since 1948, this little group of islands houses 48,359 people and 805,184 puffins, give or take a few. To get there, just head 159 miles off the northwest coast of Scotland and aim for somewhere between Iceland and Norway. (62°00’N, 06°47’W if you’re being picky). The houses there have roofs made of grass and it’s also where the winners of the 2007 Global Battle of the Bands, Boys In A Band, hail from. This time of year, it’s pretty chilly but thankfully there are woolly jumpers aplenty as lots of sheep live there too. Interestingly, the name translates as Sheep Islands. Why tell you this stuff? Because you can now get our drinks there. Oh yes.

And finally...

• The auction is over, the trousers are gone.
• Google Maps will get you.
• Old skool.
• Did you win the duck-shaped peanut thing?
• Finnish disco magic.

This week, we will talk about smoothies, our local Fruitman and those unique trousers. Then we’re gonna get down and give you twenty. No pain, no gain, no John McCain (enough already).

A big deal

Another week, another newsletter, another contractual obligation to tell you about some new stuff that we’ve invented. First up, some big stuff. Really big. 1.5 litres big to be precise. Yes, for the greedy people of the world, and those with more mouths to feed, we bring you a bigger carton. Stocky, like Geoff Capes. Tasty, like Lorraine Chase. It’s got everything. We call it The Big One, because it’s big. And you’ll find that it’s available in two recipes – strawberries & bananas and mangoes & passion fruits. Mighty. Large. And very very big.

Gimme a break

Break time used to entail nipping out to the playground for a bag of crisps and perhaps getting a punch on the nose from a kid called Robert over a marble-based dispute. But those times have passed. Nowadays you’re lucky if you get to shuffle to the water cooler. So we thought we’d invent something to help you reclaim that time – our very own break time thickie. Figs from Turkey, pears from Herefordshire, yoghurt from a West Country cow and a few wholegrain oats for that extra bit of roughage. Should keep you going in between meals better than a packet of Skips. And it won’t make your fingers smell weird either. Please, have a swig and then leg it outdoors for some scarecrow tig. Carpe break time.

Nice bottom

You might not know this, but we put little messages on the bottoms of our bottles, embossed into the plastic. Go on, have a look (make sure the cap’s on first). We’ve been writing them for a while now, so we thought you might like to try your hand at it – a competition, if you like. If your message is one of our top three favourites, we’ll use it on our bottles, meaning that millions of people will get to read your smart/funny/dumb words (we’ll send you lots of smoothies too).

Previous bottle bottoms have included the one pictured, ‘If you’re reading this, you must be bored’ and ‘Split bottle to make two hamster kayaks’. Surely you can do better. Click here to volunteer your thoughts for our bottom. Please.

John the Fruitman

John’s been delivering fresh fruit to us every week for years, so we thought we’d go and see what he’s up to. His stall is just up the road on Shepherd’s Bush Market and has been in the family for 60 years, since his granddad, Alfred, set it up. John’s bestselling fruit is the banana, though right now he’s doing a roaring trade in kumquats and lychees. His stall has starred in films such as Please Sir and Quadrophenia and customers include Mastermind presenter John Humphrys (another banana fan) and DJ Jazzy Jeff’s wife, who does her weekly fruit and veg shop there. John’s predictions for 2008 are that the Queen will abdicate, the price of lemons will drop (they’ve been a bit steep of late) and that Arsenal will win the league.

That trouser auction

Who’d have thought tartan jeans were so darn coveted? Matt’s are now up to £117 on eBay and there are still 2 days to go. So get bidding. Just to be clear, Matt does not actually come with the jeans. For a start, he wouldn’t fit in the postbag. And even if you are the naughty lady who offered to come and collect, it is just the trousers that are for sale. That and eternal simian gratitude (all auction profits go to some needy apes).

And finally...

Rio’s nice this time of year. Sunshine, sandy beaches and small dogs practising for carnival. Just fabulous. But it’s rather a long way to go on a Wednesday. You’d never make it back in time for The One Show. So stay right here and read our news. And check out the glamorous egg crushing.

Take 2:

In some respects, the year hasn’t started well. Floods, financial woe, stubbed toe on bedpost. Someone’s put a hex on things. But never fear – we’ve got some sunshine up our sleeves. We’ve made another telly ad; a bit like the last one, but this time featuring our Felicity and a brand spanking new blackberries, raspberries and boysenberries recipe. Not only did Felicity invent this recipe, she also sourced the special boysenberries to go in it. She’s great like that. And for those who are keeping tally, we’ve also added another gem to our collection of farmyard noises. Watch the ad and respect the mallard here.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen OJ

It was a sad day for all of our OJ fans last week. All 263 of them. But for you and the other 6.6 billion people in the world who didn’t know we made our own orange juice, we did. Until last week anyway. We’ve been making it for about seven years, but in very small volumes, for people who knew the secret password. For some weird reason, we sold most of it at Dublin airport. But not anymore. Our OJ went bye bye on 9th January, and our Tim got the last bottle. See how happy he looks.

Crayons at dawn

Only 2 weeks to go in our kids drawing competition. All you need are some crayons, a song in your heart and your imagination. Oh and you need to be under 16. The deadline for getting your designs to us is 31st January and we’ll announce the winner right here. Entry form and boring rules and conditions can be found here.

Trousers maketh the man

Or the Matt in this case. But after 4 years of good times together, Matt has decided to make his move into chinos and is auctioning off his famous pants on eBay. The money raised will help look after Orangutans in Borneo, a cause that’s close to Matt’s heart (he was brought up by Orangutans in the woods). Not only will the lucky bidder attain instant man about town status and bask in the warm glow of ape love, they’ll also get a signed photo of Matt in said trousers. Get bidding here.

And finally...

Hello and welcome to week 2 of 2008. We’re not going to talk about diets or fitness or any of that tripe. In fact, maybe we should just talk about tripe. Delicious in a sandwich or just as part of your calorie controlled offal based diet. Yum yum.

Please say hello to Carlos

Carlos is in our new TV ad, so we thought we should introduce him properly. He’s a third generation Sicilian, a good driver and fussy about his coffee. But the bit that we’re really interested in is his work with the Rainforest Alliance, a smart organisation committed to conserving biodiversity and ensuring sustainable livelihoods. We get all of our bananas from Rainforest Alliance accredited farms and are working with Carlos to get more of our fruit grown in this way. It makes sense. And Carlos is the right man to do business with – on top of his MBA, he did what our Simon refers to as a 'graduate training programme' in bananas. Anyway, if you’re in Costa Rica and fancy seeing Carlos, his house is right at the end of the San Jose airport runway. So give him a wave as you’re landing.

Good soil and fair winds

In last week’s news, we asked you to guess what our secret ingredient was. Chickens? No. Wizards? No. Tripe? Not right now. The answer, of course, was a nice bit of nature (sunshine, rain, manure, favourable winds and all of that stuff). Well done if you got it right. Here are the ten people who won the prizes...

Charlotte K, Laura H, Adrian H, Johanna P, Becca M, Sophie F, Annie S, Richard P, Ruth D & Sara D.

Duck shaped

When there’s nothing good on TV, nature gets bored and does some other stuff. Take this duck shaped peanut for instance.

It’s been a while since anyone sent us pictures of funny shaped fruit. So we're going to have a contest. Vegetable, crisps, peanuts, cloud formations – the only rule is it has to be natural and not indecent/illegal. Best three entries win some smoothies and a special shaped prize, as well as having their pics shown in future editions of this august journal. Upload your snaps to this flickr group.

And finally...

Hello. We'd like to take this opportunity to wish you a very happy 2008. May it contain health, happiness and at least one trip to the seaside for each and every one of you.

We're back on the telly

Seeing as it’s the start of the New Year, we’ve got a load of new stuff to show you. First of all, we’re back on the telly with an ad full of fruit (as usual) and some of the people who help us make such fine drinks. Have a look at it here and please let us know what you think here. We’ve also written a little book, entitled ‘how to make a smoothie innocent’. You should be able to digitally flick through it here or pick up a copy if you bump into any of our innocent folks in the shops over the next few weeks.

Try new stuff

It’s been a whole year since we first started making smoothies of the month and here we are back at January. And what better way to start again than with beetroot, apples, pears & ginger, a combination renowned for its cleansing properties which will fit in very nicely with that January detox you’re all prudently sticking to. And it comes in a very vibrant shade of pinky red, perfect for adding a touch of colour to your new outfit.

The secret of our success

We’ve been making smoothies for nearly nine years now and in that time we’ve managed to keep our secret ingredient to ourselves. Until now that is. We’ve finally given it away in our new booklet so thought it’s only fair to let you know as well. So we’ve tied it in with our first competition of the year to win one of ten boxes of smoothies to help you get back into things. Just correctly identify that secret ingredient here (link only available to family members who recieve our weekly email to thier inbox) for a chance to start the year as a winner.

And finally...