A pinch and a punch
on the first of the month could lead to harassment charges and no one making you tea until July. Far safer to let this weeks news do the punchy stuff for you instead.
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Last parp
This is the last time we will mention the letters A, G and M together this year. Promise. For those who might have missed last weeks news (or have been hiding their computer/themselves under a boulder for the last month), our third AGM happened the other weekend and weve got all the videos from the Q&A session right here. There are questions on everything from getting our drinks into America through to British fruits, what Adams first job was and a question about QPR. So for the answers to all those questions and a little insight into the minds of Rich, Adam and Jon, delve in right here. |
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And the worlds heaviest award goes to
Grandma. Yes, despite only making it to the nether regions of the charts, the Big Knit Choirs re-release of Theres No one quite like Grandma won the coveted Cause Related Marketing award at last weeks SABRE awards ceremony (which is all to do with Superior Achievement in Branding and Reputation, and nothing to do with tigers or fancy swords). It also happens to be the worlds heaviest award, weighing in at a whopping 2424.2g. Meaning for an efficient bicep workout, you really need to win two. So heres to one arm bicep curls until next years swanky do. |
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The old man and the tortoise
First bit of good news Alex Horne is still alive. Second bit of good news hes got a pet to keep him company on his quest to become the worlds oldest man. Since Icelandic molluscs and Bowhead whales arent the most convenient of long life pets, Alex has opted for Rosie the tortoise. Granted, Rosie may already be 17 years older than Alex but given that her ancestors have lived to the ripe old age of 188, shes a safer bet for the man trying to outlive everyone on the planet than, say, a goldfish or stick insect. You can watch a video of Rosie in action right here. N.B Tortoises and all mamals/molluscs/other creatures are exempt from the £1million prize.
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And finally...
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And finally, finally...
If you've only time to click one link this week,  better make it this one.
What's the all about? Just click the birdy and it will let you re-tweet any of our 'and finally' links at the touch of a button. It's all about word of mouse these days.
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inside fruit towers...
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The towels reappeared, Adam is finally off the market, Joe, Gurdeep, Caroline, Tom, Oli and Ceri went to a masked ball, Dan got a new toy, Siobhan used the Wheel of Fruitune in an official work capacity and we opened the old jokes home.
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twit bits...
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 @lucybrownstudio Glad you enjoyed our lemons, honey and ginger special. Get planting those seeds.
 @CocoaBlossom Here my 1st hat for @innocentdrinks bottle. Took me 30 minutes to knit this one while watching TV. twitpic.com/1tcrgw
 @stuartridout Just saw an @innocentdrinks grass covered van driving along the A45. Quite cool! http://bit.ly/arjNSz
 @ClemmieLondon
growing strawberries on my desk. Is this the kind of thing that happens @innocentdrinks towers?
 @dangerpoint @innocentdrinks veg pot for lunch, moroccan couscous. Office complimented the smell. http://myloc.me/7IC3O
follow us on twitter here
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bobs...
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Uncle Bob. Everyone has one. And if you havent then there are plenty to go round. Heres Ceris Uncle Bob, pretending to laugh at a rubbish joke her dads just told. Ceris Uncle Bob lives near Nuneaton, loves Pickettywitch and used to own a speedboat.
Fancy being Bob of the Week? Just email us a picture iambob@innocentdrinks.co.uk
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corner of the week
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This weeks corner is Story Corner. Sort of like Play School but without Humpty and Jemima.
Just pop the kettle on, make yourself comfy and then click right here.
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Short and sweet
...is the theme for this weeks news. Seeing as it contains life size marine mammals, life size smoothie cartons and a very large pencil, technically it should be Big and Bouncy. But short and sweet sounds less rude.
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Yellow Pencil
In the world of design and art direction, the equivalent of an Oscar is the D&AD Yellow Pencil. Regarded across the world as a symbol of true creative achievement, theyre really hard to get. But last Thursday, after 11 years, our creative team finally won one in the Writing for Design category, for our most recent bits of writing on the back of our cartons. There were a few tears, lots of dancing, one impressive run to the stage and celebrations long into the night. Have a read of what went down right here. |
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Berry nice party
Happy birthday to Megs friend, Tania, who turned 21 the other week and threw a fruit-themed birthday party to celebrate. Meg went as a bunch of grapes (in an outfit consisting of 35 strategically placed green balloons), her mate Colette dressed up as one of our big pineapples, bananas and coconuts cartons and the birthday girl was pretty in pink as a raspberry. No juicy gossip was divulged but it looks like they had a grape night (sorry). Big thanks to Meg for sending the photos in. |
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Killer whale sale
Always fancied having your very own life size marine mammal water feature in the back garden? Well, heres your chance. John H sent us this link to eBay where the bidding for Willy the Killer Whale is currently at 99p. Having started life in a Leeds nightclub, Willy got turfed out onto the streets after getting involved with the wrong pod. He can be yours in less than 9 days and counting (provided you have two friends to help pick him up from Sheffield). Please note - the little dog is not part of the auction. Bid yourself happy right here.
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And finally...
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And finally, finally...
It's the 'Been There, Done That (on a Unicycle)' page. This is the reason they invented the Internet.
What's the all about? Just click the birdy and it will let you re-tweet any of our 'and finally' links at the touch of a button. It's all about word of mouse these days.
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inside fruit towers...
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Everyone learned their starboard from their port, Olly put his beloved gold BMW up for sale, Zoe P is heading off to search some engines, Ed the Designer performed an impromptu ukulele concert, Jason came to clean some cars and Philippas dog had 6 puppies.
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twit bits...
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 @Sarah_Gallagher My sister is petrified of bees. I just planted my @innocentdrinks bee friendly seeds. *evil laugh*
 @innocentdrinks Loving the Pomegranate, Blueberries & Acai smoothie guys, nyom nyom! http://twitpic.com/1uuc6z @cloudsteph
 @milkjake@innocentdrinks'kiwis, apple & limes smoothie is absolutely gorgeous - might just be my favourite smoothie ever. All gone :)
 @jonmoss Know thy purpose and focus on your people. Superb working ethos at @innocentdrinks Rarely seen #hullbizweek.
follow us on twitter here
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bobs...
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Made popular by singer Rihanna, Stu Francis and choir boys across the land, this weeks Bob of the week is the bob haircut. Fancy being our Bob of the week? Just email iambob@innocentdrinks.co.uk and it could be you
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corner of the week
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 The whole world is going a little bit football crazy right now, so this week's corner of the week is the one in which Roger Milla performed a victory dance after scoring against Colombia in the 1990 World Cup. Shake it Roger.
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Riddle me this
What is big enough to hold an 80kg fake whale, one prize Herefordshire cow and a giant tent yet is totally weightless? (Clue 1: it’s not the floating county fair. Clue 2: you’re reading it).
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Word up
Ever wondered how many times you have to say a word before it becomes 'official'? At what point does it move from playground chat to everyone in Cool Town saying it before the dictionary people tick it off as ‘official’? Well, we want to find out. Just tell us your new word and what it means and we’ll pick our favourite and try to use it as often as we can on our labels, news and blog. Maybe it’ll end up in the dictionary if we use it enough. Rules: it can’t be rude, offensive or rubbish (wowzer). Get involved and win yourself some smoothies (and maybe a place in the Concise Oxford) right here. |
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Cowabunga
You might remember last year that Jim won the innocent scholarship to remake Michael Jackson’s Thriller in the car park. Well, the latest person to win the scholarship is Ed G. He’s not off to climb mountains or bust some moves in tight red denim (he does that anyway). Instead, he’s used the £1000 to buy a cow to restart the suckler herd on his dad’s farm. One cow doth not a herd make so between them, they’ve also bought another 8 cows. However one ninth of the herd is the Scholarship cow. Since Scholarship Cow isn’t that catchy and Ed has yet to name his new cow, if you have a moment of bovine brilliance in terms of names and fancy winning yourself some thickies, find out mooooooooore here. |
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Whale watch
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Tea in a tent?
Via a very large and cosy yurt, the good people at Riverford are taking their award winning Field Kitchen restaurant on the road this summer. Being as Devon is a bit of a drive for most people, over the next few weeks, the Travelling Field will be touring up and down the country, stopping off in London, Knutsford, Peterborough, North Yorkshire, Kent and Bristol, serving up local, seasonal tasty dishes from the comfort of their spacious tent. If you fancy camping cuisine that’s an escalator up from burnt sausage à la baked beans, then yurt yourself happy right here.
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And finally...
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And finally, finally...
Just time for one click this week?
Hit me up here (thanks to JakeJoe for this link)
What's the all about? Just click the birdy and it will let you re-tweet any of our 'and finally' links at the touch of a button. It's all about word of mouse these days.
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inside fruit towers...
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Kate H joined, Ben U wore spotty ladies socks, Rachel bought a rainbow, Miche enjoyed the Hammersmith leg of the World Naked Bike Ride, someone hid Delia’s yellow wellies, the strawberry cheesecake cupcakes got voted best Summer Picnic cake at Cake Club, Alison organised a company meet-and-greet wedding reception style line up in the car park and Eddie stole a small child’s nose.
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twit bits...
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weird rabbits sketchybunnies.com
 I just saw your grass covered van in glasgow. Wasn't quick enough to get a pic, but it was funky as hell
 @joshc_
just spotted this grass covered van. Cool! moby.to/0zgv6j
follow us on twitter here
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bobs...
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This week’s Bob of the Week is the humble bobby sock. The height of fashion in the 40s and 50s, it’s now rarely seen gracing the ankles of the fashion forward.
According to one ettiquette guide, the bobby sock is ‘not suitable for the workplace as it is deemed too casual (although if obscured by long skirts or slacks it may not be an issue)'. Fancy being Bob of the Week? Just email us a picture iambob@innocentdrinks.co.uk
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corner of the week
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This week’s corner is dedicated to that complicated car manoeuvre - reversing round a corner. Many a driving test has been failed and many a bumper ruined due to this tricksy move. Thankfully there’s now a handy video to talk you through every kerb curving step. (though it’s probably best to watch it before not during said corner reverse).
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Recycling is the new black.
Or green (depending on your fashion preferences). So in support of Recycle Week, this week’s news is entirely made out of recycled stories, links and jokes from our archive of old newsletters, plus a few pipe cleaners we had kicking around. Just in case you wondered why we were wittering on about stuff that happened 5 years ago. We’re recycling the good stuff. Ahem.
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July 2006: The yellow handbag
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August 2005: Boring holidays – the winners
The winners of our Most Boring Holiday Ever competition really earned their victory. They relived the pain and the horror by setting out their vacation hell in writing and sending it to us. Very, very brave. Here in no particular order are the four winners (we were only going to do three prizes but had to include the farting dog as well).
• Rachael - her visit to Spongerama, a destination entirely themed around the natural sponge, wasn't all that she envisaged.
• Helen - inventing a game of cards where the winner got a sip of Coke was the highpoint of this caravan trip to the Isle of Wight.
• Gemma - a boring holiday was enlivened when her Gran suggested watching Ceefax. "Oh yes, I often watch that when there's nothing on the television - it's quite nice to see what planes are coming in" said Grandma.
• Sandy - the biggest thrill of a stay in a Yorkshire guesthouse was playing with the landlady's blind dog, which passed wind constantly due to its diet of tripe and tripe.
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June 2003: 25% better for you
We thought you might like to know a bit more about the bottles that our drinks come in. Admittedly, they aren't the most stimulating of conversational topics, but they do a vital job and shouldn't be overlooked just because they are a bit boring. Anyway, the important bit of news we wanted to share is that our bottles are now made from 25% recycled plastic, which we reckon makes us the first soft drinks makers to use recycled PET (which is the type of plastic we use). Our aim is to one day pack our drinks in 100% recycled stuff - this isn't technically possible at the moment, but you can be assured that we are working closely with the nice people who make our bottles to come up with a solution. If you want to find out more about recycling plastics, http://www.recoup.org is a good place to start.
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June 2007: 100% better for you
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June 2003: The man and a fact
For no particular reason, please look at this website. Appreciate the man, the mystery and the moustache. Also in banana news this week, we hear that you can use banana skins to clean your shoes. We haven't been brave enough to try this out yet, but if you have any joy please let us know.
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June 2006: A random fruit quiz
There's a fruit quiz on the BBC website. Back in 2006, the writer of that week's innocent news scored 3/10. The writer of this week’s news scored 4. Oh the shame. Do the quiz here.
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And finally (old but good)...
And finally, finally (old but still very good)...
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And finally, finally, finally...
Just time for one click this week?
Outrock yourself with this classic right here
What's the all about? Just click the birdy and it will let you re-tweet any of our 'and finally' links at the touch of a button. It's all about word of mouse these days.
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inside fruit towers in 2004
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Will wore coral coloured socks, we had a fascinating feature called ‘Flowers of the week’, Dan and Mark went off to find the best chutney in India, the Geoffcam (a web cam pointed at Geoff’s desk) was launched, Trav met Mark Owen in a disco, Martin in IT was renamed Smartin, Lucy lost her pink woollen blanket at Fruitstock, our pineapples, bananas and coconuts recipe won the Quality Food and Drink award for ‘Best Soft Drink in the UK' , Fruit Towers got a bit bigger and Chloe admitted that Jim Fixed It for her to appear in Right Said Fred’s ‘Deeply Dippy’ video.
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bob barnard of the week...
corner of the week
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This week’s corner of the week is Agony Aunt corner, dedicated to all those whose relationships with their domestic electrical appliances have gone off the boil. Toaster let you down again? Phone no longer pushing your buttons? Need some advice on how to dump them? Just ask Aunty.
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Summer, summer, summer time
Time to sit back and unwind. Perhaps you’re thinking of summers past. Maybe you’re off to a barbeque that starts at 4. Or you might simply be intending to chill in that car you’ve spent all day waxing. Whatever your summer madness preference, let the soft subtle mix of this week’s news soothe and move your groove*.
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Summer in pot
Whilst it takes more than one swallow or sun filled Saturday to make a summer, where we’re from, you call a spade a spade. So while the yellow chap in the sky is shining away, we thought we’d make hay and introduce our new summer veg pot recipe at the same time. We’ve combined roasted vegetables, couscous, beetroot and fresh spinach, tossed in a sprinkling of pumpkin seeds and added a zesty lemon twist for the taste of summer in a pot. It’s on shelves right now and will be around as long as the summer lasts. So better get a shifty down the shops (and soak up some vitamin D along the way). |
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Swede Swede music
It’s been a while since we featured any 80s pop sensations enjoying our drinks. And it’s been a while since we had any Scandinavian music videos in the news. But as serendipity would have it, Richard from Eurovision winning band Herrey’s ticked off both those boxes whilst we were sampling at a golf event. If you missed Herrey’s seminal 1984 performance of Diggi-loo Diggi-Lay first time round, take a little trip down Cropped Chino Lane right here.
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You bet
Mr. Alex Horne is still going strong in his quest to become the world’s oldest man (current ranking: ) and being as he is extremely serious about his quest, he’s decided to put his money where his mouth is and bet on himself. Not in a Le Tissier spread bet fashion**. Just a plain old bet to put aside something for the grandkids. However, despite the fact that three of his grandparents are still alive and his great aunts, Maude and Tat, both lived to 100, no bookie in the land will take his bet. Not even Ol’ Bill Hill. So Alex is opening up his own betting shop. Play your pound/matchstick right and in 69 years time, your butler could be reading this weekly newsletter to you as you gently rock in the 200 percale count hammock of your Sicilian orange grove/matchstick mansion (depending what you bet). Decide your fate right here.
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And finally...
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And finally, finally...
Time poor this week?
Click yourself rich here (thanks to Jessie B for this link)
What's the all about? Just click the birdy and it will let you re-tweet any of our 'and finally' links at the touch of a button. It's all about word of mouse these days.
*Failing that, let Mr. Smith and his Jazzy mate work their magic instead.
**For the record, Ben W would like to note that Mr. Le Tissier is his hero. In case he happens to be reading.
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inside fruit towers
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Mark G lost his notebook (again), half of Fruit Towers decided to ‘work from a field’, Matt M ate Jon’s veg pot, then someone ate Philippa’s cottage cheese, Prasad became a lord, the first innocent wedding took place (congratulations, Niels and Jess), Hector arrived, John sneakily watched the Kings Troop whilst in an important meeting, Angela finally managed to shift her lime green sofa and Invasion of Lifesize Cardboard Cutouts took place in the chill out.
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twit bits...
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when life covers you in peppermint tea, it's handy to have one of these nearby
 @KatieColbourne
@innocentdrinks I'm going to a car boot on sunday - can I borrow your van?
 @mrcoshea
Such a cool van :)XD
 @shutitoff
@innocentdrinks Your 'pasty and suspicious' bunny had me in fits at the most inappropriate time. Please desist from such antics in future.
follow us on twitter here
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bob of the week
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This week’s Bob of the Week is Bob K from Munich, Germany. Bob is a geometer (meaning he is good at Maths) who likes putting on rubbish foreign accents and being the boyfriend of Sara. For some reason this week, he is very happy. Almost as happy as the day he answered the hard equation below. But not quite.
He was 30 on 29th May. So happy belated birthday, Bob.
Fancy being our Bob of the Week, just email iambob@innocentdrinks.co.uk and it could be your face right here.
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corner of the week
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This week’s corner is Digging Corner. And Planting Corner. And Painting-A-Shed Corner. It’s also the Corner That Explains Why Lou B Got A Go On A Digger. Click here to find out more.
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innocent foundation
