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| Welcome to Month 3 of 2011. |
| Or Week 9 if you’re Swedish. In case you’ve been hiding in a cupboard like a big legged lizard since 1st of January, allow this week’s news to get you up-to-speed with some of the less important stuff you might have missed whilst wardrobe sulking. |
| Dinosaur discovered |
 After being lost in a museum cupboard for centuries, Brontomerus Mcintoshi was reunited with the world in February. Milllenia in a closet and then when you do come out, everyone calls you Thunder Thighs. Talk about being mocked by gait. |
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| Hue of the year |
 Turquoise is so 2010. This year’s colour is honeysuckle. Courageous, confident, beloved by hummingbirds everywhere, this brave new shade is ‘guaranteed to produce a healthy glow when worn by both men and women.’ So dress in head-to-toe for instant radiance/hummingbird. |
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| Pancake countdown |
 We last mentioned pancakes 29 days ago. If you took our advice (which was to start flip practice immediately in order to nail P Day on Tuesday 8th March) then all you need do now is work out which filling you’re going to have first. However, if you chose to ignore our gentle nudge and haven’t even thought of lemonsbutterandsugar, we suggest you either get a mechanical friend on the case or go home right this instant and don’t move from the stove till Wednesday morning. In other words, better get the batter on. |
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| Whinge o’clock weather |
 Four weeks ago, we told you that if the weather was rubbish in February, then summer would be a belter. Given that we got this information off an old wife, she was a bit sketchy on what the rule for spring was. So whilst we’re not made up that it’s still raining, we’re still not going to start officially whinging until the clocks go forward on 27th. |
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| Obligatory fruit plug |
 In fruit related news, there have been some tasty developments in the world of apples. Some interesting sculptures involving cherries, pineapples and melons. And the occasional orange here and there. But no new species of neon pink grapefruit discovered by a famer under a sofa in Idaho. Still, there’s another 9 months to go… |
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| And finally… |
 Robo rainbow (thanks to Tim Otay for this link)
What is food? (thanks to Klinger for this link)
Pirates trump ninjas
City by type (thanks to Tigerkat for this link) |
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| And finally, finally... |
Only time for one hot new move this week? Bodypop those rainy day blues away
What's the all about? Just click the birdy and it will let you re-tweet any of our 'and finally' links at the touch of a button. It's all about word of mouse these days. |
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| Inside Fruit Towers this week |
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| There was a special Welsh photo shoot for everyone from the valleys, Lucy T organised an olive oil taste test, Bryony returned from the land of ping pong, the silver Mondeo returned to wreak blocking-in havoc, no Time Lords popped in, a Kiwi yeast based spread appeared in the kitchen, Katie warmed up for book clubbing and Helen L gave away her free standing floor fan. |
| bob of the week |
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Bobbles, BobBob, Mr. Bobalina, Bobsicle, Bobalicious, The Bobster - this week’s Bob goes by many names but always answers to his owner, Kristy. Especially when dinner and flowerpots are involved.
 Ginger but not a whinger, he also likes sunshine and empty laps. Know a good Bob? Email us at
iambob@innocentdrinks.co.uk |
| corner of the week |
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This week’s Corner of the Week is I’d Like To Thank Corner. You’ll need a posh frock, a friend-in-a-tux, plus a torch, an envelope, a heavy paperweight and a captive audience. Simply stand around for a few hours, chatting silently in an animated fashion, doing lots of impromptu hilarious but silent laughter and looking hopeful, not bitter. If anyone looks at you, do all the above but with teeth.
 Then get your mate to shine a torch on you as they open the envelope and announce your name. Hug everyone sharing your breathing space, jog to the corner, brandish the paperweight aloft and thank as many people as you can in 45 seconds before jogging off to spend the afternoon walking like a teapot and looking over your shoulder in a smouldering manner. |
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| As February bids a fond farewell |
| Allow yourself a moment to indulge in a generous slice of movie-making-trip-to-the-future-taking-dangly-biscuit-shaking rambling pie that is this week’s news. Dig on in. |
| Lights, camera, dowling |
 The first rule of directing? Never, ever sit down. This was just one of the gems that Ben Wheatley (film director, creator of our advert and all round funny guy) shared with us last Saturday when we had our Mini Movies master class at Fruit Towers. In a Wizard of Oz style presentation, Ben talked us through how he got into film, the model train sets and the intricacies of making our ad. Fuelled by lunch, mini eggs and a random selection of capes, dowling and otherbitsoftat, our budding film makers were then let loose to make their own 30 second sequel to launch our special Mini Movies competition. The result? Nine excellent films and the birth of some new Tarantinos. Take 5 and have a look right here. |
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| Lemur lines |
 You may have already spotted the mud seeking chimp, the owlet stuck to a tree and the goat who forgot the cheese baps on the back of our new orange juice carafes. If not, make sure you check them out next time you’re supermarket way. Laughing uproariously in the chilled juice aisle is balm for the soul. Allegedly. Anyways, the reason we’re mentioning these animal photos is that we’re launching a good old fashioned competition for this furry chap and we’d like you to come up with the caption. Not only will the winning line be on our orange juice carafes from this summer, you’ll also win a big box of orange and apple juice featuring your caption so you can send one to your mum and casually show off to your friends over weekend brunch. To get involved, click away here. |
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| Veg pot |
 As well as movie making and laughing at miffed goats, we’ve also been busy in the kitchen, trying out some tasty new recipes for our veg pots. Before we go any further though, we thought it’d be polite, make sense and just be a good idea to ask you what you think of them. Not much point in pushing on with Cottage Cheese and Leek Vindaloo if the sound of that makes your bottom do a funny dance. So to have a hand (and hopefully a fork) in the future of veg pots, just click here and tell us what you think of the names. And for your trouble, we’ll enter your name into a random hat draw to win 20 veg pots for you and your office/street/fellow commuters. |
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| And finally… |
Cookies by string (thanks to Heidi Taylor for this link)
Beat it, Scarecrow
Green milk (thanks to Niels Poww for this link)
Salad joy (thanks to Tropey Not Ropey for this link)
Spectator sport (thanks to Camilla Ace for this link) |
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| And finally, finally... |
Only time for one hot new move this week? Sock it to yourself right here (thanks to Noodle’s Sister for this link)
What's the all about? Just click the birdy and it will let you re-tweet any of our 'and finally' links at the touch of a button. It's all about word of mouse these days. |
| *Transport for Everywhere |
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| Inside Fruit Towers this week |
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| Pretty much everyone came to work on Monday dressed in some shade of grey, cricket net practice started again, Madhu brought in pink meringues, Eddie was inundated with offers to drive a grass van to Copenhagen (well done, Alex), Gurdeep won 8 pairs of new jeans, Adam’s mum spent most of Sunday baking for us and the redistribution of the locker amnesty got mistaken for an impromptu jumble sale. |
| bob of the week |
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This week's Bob of the Week comes from a long line of Bobs. According to his friend Kate, Bob v3.0, is Irish, rubs his hands together when excited and likes washing. Clothes. Cars. Plates. Himself. Whatever needs a good scrub basically.
 An employer once asked him to change his name to Robert as it sounded posher. He reluctantly agreed. So Bob v3.0 is Robert professionally, Bob off duty. Know a fine Bob? Want to see their face in the news? Nominate them here
iambob@innocentdrinks.co.uk |
| corner of the week |
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This week's Corner of the Week comes to you from the future. "Hold on a sneaky moment", you might be thinking "2056 is looking pretty similar to 2011. Why, I've got that very jumper on right now." Look a little closer though and you'll see Alex on the right is actually a hologram and the thing that looks like a fridge behind her is the TFE portal shortcut to Cheam*.
 This view of 2056 is all thanks to doing swapsy with a retired Time Lord. An hour of crushed fruit training for a ride in his phonebox. Quids in. Have a better deeks at the future right here. |
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| Love, love, love. |
| That's what this week's news is all about. So whack on the lippy, take a ticket and step onboard the love train, non stop to Romance Central. |
| Love in a chilled juice aisle |
 Next time you're browsing the frozen peas, make sure you're looking hot as you never know when Mr./Mrs. Right is going to sweep you off your feet. Take Lewis and Maria for instance. They first clapped eyes on each other in their local supermarket whilst trying to decide which smoothie to buy. Lewis made a slightly inappropriate joke about future uses for the little hats in our Big Knit campaign. Maria thought he was well fit (despite the rubbish jokes), one smoothie led to another and they tied the knot at the start of February. The bride was breathtaking in white, the groom dazzled in a kilt and glittery gold trainers and they're now getting on with the business of living happily ever after. Now that's what I call love 2011. |
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| Paper love |
 Before any new laws can be passed in this fair and pleasant land (weight of commemorative coins, compulsory zorbing-to-work, that sort of thing) you need to submit a series of different coloured papers for a Bill to be submitted. So, with this in mind, we've enlisted some experts to help us with a subject extremely dear to our hearts – namely, making eating healthily a little bit easier. We've just published a special report setting out our ideas on how to help you do that in our Orange Paper and you can have a read right here. Granted, it may be a while before anyone on comfy red banquettes gives it the nod but small acorns and all that. |
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| Hearty congratulations |
 Since love is in the air this week, here's the top three love related orange and apple jokes from our OJ hamper competition last week. Feel free to try them out on any attractive folk you spot down the supermarket/pub/drycleaners:
• What did Mr Apple say to Mrs Apple when they first met? Corrrre!
• Why did the orange go out with a prune? Because she couldn't find a date
• How does an apple a day keep the doctor away? When you take careful aim.
Congratulations to Daniele, Jane and Liz for these belters and to Dudley, John V, Lorna S, Simon B Damian C, Laura H, Edina L and David M. Hampers will be winging their way to you very very soon. |
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| And romantically… |
Love is in the pear (thanks to Tomoffraine for this link)
Feline good (thanks to GoodgollyitsOli for this link)
Couples who dress together stay together
A whole otter love
1000 kisses c/o Mr VD (and some massive stereos) |
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| And finally, finally... |
Only time for one hot new move this week? Double dream hands it up (thanks to Meerloveface for this link)
What's the all about? Just click the birdy and it will let you re-tweet any of our 'and finally' links at the touch of a button. It's all about word of mouse these days. |
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| Inside Fruit Towers this week |
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| Traffic light love was in the air, Richard gave a choice of 3 birthday speeches, over 100 love telegrams were delivered, Ed, Matt and James P all won the chance to go for a very long cycle, James M became a dad, a notebook, pair of black wire rimmed glasses and a coral umbrella joined the lost property box and Delia demonstrated the correct way to open a peanut. |
| bob of the week |
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This week's Bob of the Week is Simon's dad, Robert Bob. Retired architect, top class tennis player, budding novelist, carrier of big sticks and all round excellent husband to Eileen. Top job Bob indeed.
 Know a good Bob? Let us know at
iambob@innocentdrinks.co.uk |
| corner of the week |
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This week's Corner of the Week is Romantic Getaway corner. Yep. Pour a glass of something nice, kick back, watch the sunset, listen to the waves and indulge in doing nothing but staring into the sunset for 2 whole minutes.
 Go on. Off you go. |
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| Red plus yellow equals |
| Orange. For this special edition of the news, oranges are the only fruit. Especially the squeezed variety. So please steel yourself for orange puns, bad jokes and juice chat aplenty. |
| Intro juicing |
 Please allow us to introduce you to our brand new orange juice. We've been making orange juice for a few years but now we've made it even better. 'Pray', you may ask, 'How can this be?'. Well, first up, we've used a delicious new blend of oranges. Secondly, our orange juice now comes in a lovely new recyclable carafe. Both of which mean it's a truly refreshing way to start your day. Just 11 of the juiciest oranges, hand-picked and squeezed into every carafe. No concentrates or sweeteners. Not now, not ever. We're just going to keep letting Mother Nature do all the hard work (sun, rain, a bit of breeze, that sort of thing). And we'll just squeeze her best bits. |
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| Fancy a free carafe? |
As a thank you for reading our ramblings every week, we're giving a free carafe to you and everyone else who reads our weekly newsletter. Think of it as a tasty reward for putting up with our waffle. To claim your free carafe, just fill in the details here and we'll send you a special voucher in the post. Orange you glad you're reading this? (sorry)
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| The future might not be orange |
 Disaster. Marmalade sales are in decline and the future of steaming roly polys and decent bits of granary toast everywhere at risk. Marmalade is a part of our British breakfast tradition, our culinary heritage. Winston Churchill, Mary Queen of Scots and James Bond all started their days with the thick cut variety. And without it, Paddington Bear would have starved. So next time you're passing the jam aisle, pop a jar in your basket and reinstate it on your breakfast table alongside your juice to ensure the survival of future generations of wellington wearing bears. |
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| Win a very posh breakfast hamper |
 To celebrate the launch of our new OJ, we're bringing breakfast to you. Since there are 11 juicy oranges in every carafe, we're giving away 11 deliciously natural innocent breakfast hampers to the best orange and apple related jokes and puns going. There's enough homemade muffins, crunchy granola, fresh fruit, marmalade, tasty bread, napkins, special glasses and carafes of juice for you and five friends to have a proper break-feast. Yep, that good. To be in with a chance of starting your day the OJ way*, just hit us with your best orange/apple joke or pun here. |
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| And finally... |
Marmalady
Panorangmic
Real peel deal
Chucking good carnival
It's orange, Jim, but not as we know it
Tan fan (thanks to Hinesy for this link)
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| And finally, finally... |
Only got time for a single click this week? Rind your body right here
What's the all about? Just click the birdy and it will let you re-tweet any of our 'and finally' links at the touch of a button. It's all about word of mouse these days. |
| *As in orange juice. Not that chap who played a cop in Naked Gun. |
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| Inside Fruit Towers this week |
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| We all had a Monday morning en masse breakfast, oranges, Richard came to work dressed as a burger flipper/James Franco in 127 Hours, oranges, Thomas gave the best conference call update ever, oranges, John T tried to put out the orange bonfire with his strawberry chat, oranges, Janel put in her traffic light order for Valentines Day, oranges, Tim wore his posh cardy to work, oranges, Joe gave a talk in Paris and Tom F went along as his date. |
| apple bob of the week |
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This week's Bob of the Week is the apple bob. Traditionally more suited to Halloween and witch hunting jollies, we're tenuously popping it in here to let you know we're now also making apple juice as well as orange juice. You can, of course, go orange bobbing if you like.
 It's just not quite as pleasant biting into an unpeeled orange as it is a crisp tasty apple. Far better to juice both. Tenuous Bob link over. If you fancy seeing the best Bob you know featured here next week, just email us at
iambob@innocentdrinks.co.uk |
| corner of the week |
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This week’s Corner of the Week is Up Close and Personal Corner. Want to sidle up to someone attractive at work but don’t want to get done for inappropriate cuddling? Just instigate a game of Pass the Orange.
 Simply get all the attractive people to stand in a line, take one big orange and pass it down the line using only your chins (as per the photo). N.B Will only work if you position yourself next to the person you fancy. |
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| A pinch and a punch for the 1st of the month. |
| Or a slap and a firm word for being 2 days late. To be fair though, whose counting? We're just giddy with joy that it's February and that the countdown to spring can officially begin. Yeeha. |
| Good things about February |
 Known to the Anglo-Saxons as 'Sol-manoth' (which translates as 'cake month'), February is where you can wave goodbye to detox misery and tatty sales rails and say hello to all this good stuff instead:
• Pancakes ahoy. Only 34 days left to get flipping brilliant at flipping.
• Hastily bought carnations. Milk Tray. Puffy foam greeting cards of love sick pandas. Yep, love is soon to be in the air*.
• If you were born in a leap year, you're not getting any older. Which makes up for the non-present thing.
• It's Chinese New Year. The chance to re-celebrate sensibly if you shamed yourself first time round.
• Snowdrops are out. National Bird-feeding Month is underway. And it's a short month. So if you don't like it, it's not long till it's over.
Reasons to be cheerful indeed. |
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| Hello Phil |
What's more, it's Ground Hog day this week too. Get the latest from Gobbler's Knob right here www.groundhog.org
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| Ye olde weather predictions |
 Weather getting you down a bit? Worry ye not. According to this folklore ditty, a rubbish February means a sunny rest of the year.
When the cat lies in the sun in February
She will creep behind the stove in March.
Of all the months of the year,
Curse a fair February.
If it thunders in February, it will frost in April
If February give much snow,
A fine summer it doth foreshow.
So hold back on the rain dancing, pray for snow and don't put the cat out till March. |
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| Hello again Phil |
| What's more, it's Ground Hog day this week too. Get the latest from Gobbler's Knob right here www.groundhog.org |
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| Al-peacino |
 If all that cheer isn't enough to brighten up a grey February day, then feast your eyes on the creations of Class P2/3 of Broughton Primary School. What they don't know about making a sweet potato menacing via a few well placed cocktail sticks is not worth knowing. Thanks to Class P2/3 and their teacher, Mrs. Buxton, for sending these in. And if you're still not kicking your heels just a tiny bit after that, go and sit by the nearest radiator until your icy heart thaws out. |
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| Hello again again Phil |
| What's more, it's Ground Hog day this week too. Get the latest from Gobbler's Knob right here www.groundhog.org |
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| And finally... |
Bouncy fish
Welly charger
Sunsetacular
Annoying fruit
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| And finally, finally... |
Only time for one click this week? Rip it up right here
What's the all about? Just click the birdy and it will let you re-tweet any of our 'and finally' links at the touch of a button. It's all about word of mouse these days. |
| *and petrol station owners across the land are already rubbing their hands in glee. |
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| Inside Fruit Towers this week |
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| Kirsty said goodbye, Patrick said hello, Emma drank a gallon of tea in one day, the dancing flower lost it's head from too much bobbing, Charlie H discovered an amazing old school sweet shop in the Cotswolds (and proceeded to eat them out of house and home), Ceri made a miniature top hat out of felt for a mushroom, there was an impromptu game of grass van tag team on the Westway, Janel received some steamy calls on the banana phone and George H might be going skiing next week. |
| bob of the week |
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Following the weather theme, this week's Bob of the Week is Bob Crampton, oracle and weatherman of ITV1 West. According to Becky, who tunes in daily for Bob's dulcet updates, he controls the weather for Wiltshire, Somerset, Dorset, Devon and Cornwall.
 So next time you're down Cornwall way and it rains in June, this is the man you need to have words with. Know a good Bob? Email us at
iambob@innocentdrinks.co.uk |
| corner of the week |
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This week's Corner of the Week is Climbing Frame Corner. That bit of the park where you get to swing off the monkey bars, impress the sandpit onlookers and just hang out. More taxing and daredevil than the short lived exhilaration of the slide.
 Less queuing than the zip wire. And unlike the seesaw, it's a totally solo, one man show to become King of the Playground. Go forth and clamber. |
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innocent foundation
